


what you say

by Areiton



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Implied Stony - Freeform, Natasha Romanov Feels, POV Natasha Romanov, POV Second Person, Protective Natasha Romanov, That stupid assessment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areiton/pseuds/Areiton
Summary: This is what you say--He isn’t right for the Avengers.Tony Stark, not recommended.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 184
Collections: Assassin Twins + Tony





	what you say

**Author's Note:**

> I hate the assessment at the end of Iron Man 2--But what if Natasha had a good reason for saying what she did. What if it wasn't because SHIELD was playing mind games with Tony.

This is what you say-- 

“He’s not stable, sir.” 

“He’s self-destructive, sir.” 

“He’s a narcissist. He won’t take orders. He’s selfish and petty and unpredictable.” 

This is what you say-- 

“I don’t recommend him, sir. Not for this.” 

Fury watches you, his eye dark and narrow and assessing and finally, he nods. “Fine. Write up your assessment, Agent. I expect it on my desk by morning.” 

~*~ 

This is what you say--

He isn’t right for the Avengers. 

He isn’t a team player.

He’s compulsive.

He can’t take orders. 

Tony Stark, not recommended. 

~*~ 

You find out later, Fury showed him. It makes sense of his chilly reception of you, the way his eyes watch you, guarded and distrustful in the days when he visits SHIELD to consult. It makes sense why he snaps at you, the one time Fury sends you to assist him, the way he storms out in a snit and demands another assistant, any other assistant. 

It makes sense, when Pepper sweeps past you with frigid eyes filled with disdain. They aren’t together, not anymore, but she’s protective of him, and anything that hurts him would infuriate him. 

And you did. 

You hurt him. 

~*~ 

The world ends, or almost, and the Avengers come together and you--

You are sent for Bruce and you are treated with cautious distrust by Tony and you watch while Fury pulls his strings, while the team fights to get Clint back and stop Loki. 

You watch Rogers square off with him, the way he snaps and pokes, the way that Tony reacts, and you want to say something, but you can feel Fury’s eyes and hands, and you bite down on it and do the job that needs to be done. 

Maybe one day you’ll explain. 

~*~ 

You don’t explain in the aftermath, and then you’re to busy helping Clint come back to think about the damage you’ve done, and by the time you do return to New York, with Clint at your side exactly where he belongs, Tony has opened the Tower to Bruce and Steve and Thor, when he bothers to be on Earth. 

He opens his Tower to you and Clint and curiosity shines in his eyes but he doesn’t say anything when Clint moves into your room and ignores his own. 

~*~ 

Colonel James Rhodes visits the tower, and you keep your distance. You remember Rhodes and you remember his eyes, sharp and appraising, how they picked you open and saw what Pepper didn’t, what Tony couldn’t. 

And then you left and you left a mess of wreckage in your wake and you have never had any doubts about Rhodes and his opinion of you. 

There is a part of you that wants to apologize, to explain. 

There is a part of you that _aches_ to. 

You don’t, of course. 

You smile and you keep your distance and your secrets. 

~*~ 

“I think you were wrong,” Steve says, one night when neither of you can sleep and he’s picking at one of the bandages on his hand. Your feet ache and your throat hurts from your breath, tight and labored, and he’s been punching the same damn bag for two hours, and he thinks you were wrong. 

You tip your head toward him, braid waving a question. 

“Tony--your assessment of him. I think you were wrong,” he says, earnest and you almost scream. 

You do smile, tight and false and Steve sighs. “It’s ok to be wrong about this, Nat. He’s a good team member.” 

Your feet, when you crawl into bed, are bloody and ache and Clint’s arms around you don’t make your teeth stop chattering. 

~*~ 

Tony doesn’t trust you, but he makes you weapons, designs the latest and greatest for each of you. 

He makes Clint a better bow, versatile arrows, and throws as much tech into his limited armor as Clint will tolerate. 

He does the same for your catsuit and you slip it on, and it feels like you’re wearing his protection and trust and he _doesn’t_ trust you, you know he doesn’t, and you know that you don’t deserve it or this--but you’re grateful. 

~*~ 

He gets hurt fighting Doom bots in Central Park, and you can see it, because for some reason you’re the one closest to him, so you _see_ the EMP knock out the suit, you hear his breathing, tight and frightened, and Cap’s shouting, and your own heartbeat, too fucking loud in your ears. 

You see him crash to the ground, and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it, but you can stand over his fallen body and keep the attacking bots at bay and shout and scream for medical. 

And when it’s over and you’re bloody and he’s been carted off to be patched back together, a piece meal man like all the rest of you--

Then you can breath your panic into your knees and you can bite your screams into your palm and you can dash away the tears you won’t let anyone else see. 

~*~ 

This is what you say--

“He’s unstable, sir. He’s a self-destructive narcissist.”

This is what they forget--

You’re a liar. 

~*~ 

This is what you don’t say. 

Not ever. 

Not to Steve with his confused disapproval or Tony with his hurt distrust or Pepper with her cold disdain or Rhodey’s outright hostility. 

This is what you don’t say, even when Clint asks, warm skin and shaggy hair and eyes calm and unjudging. 

This is what you bite back and back and back. 

You lied. 

You saw him, at his worst, broken and furious and dying and still brighter and better than anything you had ever seen, and you saw everything that Fury could-- _would--_ do to use him up. 

You lied. 

You protected him the only way you knew how, the way you had been taught to protect yourself and the masters you serve, ever changing. 

You lied. 

~*~ 

This is what you know. 

You lied to protect him, hurt him to protect him. 

And you failed. 


End file.
